


besides

by notwest



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 11:40:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwest/pseuds/notwest
Summary: What if Dave and Karkat got a chance to talk on the night of his wedding?Candy Chapter 27: the B side
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 12
Kudos: 159





	besides

It's the night of Dave's wedding. All of his friends, family, and of course, his new, lovely dog wife Jade are all mingling giddily in a ballroom six feet above his head while Dave runs alone down endlessly dark, abandoned corridors of some soulless mansion.

He's looking for someone. 

For a second he really thought Karkat was here. He was so sure he'd seen him on the balcony with John but it had only been a glimpse, a flash of someone he once knew, before they'd disappeared over the railing. 

Maybe Karkat was never here and this was all Dave's reaction to getting married. Maybe he was just down here chasing ghosts.

When Dave turns the next corner his heart lurches. Someone is standing at the end of the hallway, facing a wide balcony window. The thing is, Dave would know that silhouette anywhere—it's the same one that haunts his consciousness, both waking and sleeping: brutally hunched shoulders; uniquely nubby horns; small, wiry frame; hair like a bird's nest that got run over by a lawnmower. 

He came. 

Dave walks closer, until Karkat turns at the sound of his footsteps. Even from ten feet away Dave can see the way his one visible eye widens, his face morphing into an unmistakable look of horror. Dave's heart rate picks up, a sudden pressure starting to build behind his eyes. 

He keeps stepping forward. As the face of the rebellion, it's not like he hasn't seen the posters of Karkat's face plastered fucking everywhere, or the videos of him addressing screaming crowds, or the photos of him with his arms wrapped tightly around another troll. But with all of those things, Dave has found he can pretend they feature someone else just convincingly enough to keep his chest from getting tight, constricted by the frayed ropes of things he tries to never let himself think about. 

This is different. This adult troll standing in front of him is unmistakably Karkat, and the thought burns through Dave's chest like he's swallowing hot coal. He's less than five feet away now. Dave opens his mouth but what is he supposed to say? 

Karkat's expression still hasn't changed and Dave is standing directly in front of him now, matching his gaping mouth in the darkened hallway like they're doing some kind of stunted mirror exercise.

After a moment the spell breaks and Karkat snaps his mouth shut, abruptly turns on his heel and throws the balcony doors open. Dave's brain explodes into panicked indecision, his head clouding with dialogue from all the times he's dared to imagine what he would say if Karkat showed up today, all the things he wished he said that day in Jane's mansion before Karkat had stormed out, before he'd pushed Dave away with a look that broke his heart. He thinks of the countless shared glances and smiles, of the small touches and the pointed distances, of all the times, all the fucking chances he's had to tell Karkat how he felt. How he feels.

Dave's mind swirls, and for a second he's lost in the dense, unmanaged thicket of ten years of thoughts about someone, until one thought pushes through with stunning clarity. It's now or never.

DAVE: karkat wait

Karkat freezes with his back to Dave.

DAVE: i thought i saw you earlier and i was just starting to think that maybe i was just seeing what i wanted to see but youre really here  
DAVE: please stay

Karkat turns around slowly. His eyebrows are drawn in toward each other. He looks pained, and Dave has the urge to reach forward and smooth the wrinkles out of his forehead. 

KARKAT: I CAN'T.  
DAVE: why  
KARKAT: I SHOULDN'T BE HERE.  
DAVE: what are you talking about of course you should be here youre my uh  
DAVE: i invited you 

Karkat looks like he's in pain. His eye keeps flicking to the side, like he's trying to detect an escape route. 

KARKAT: THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. I HAVE TO GO.

Dread curdles Dave's gut. If Karkat leaves now Dave somehow knows he'll never see him again. Not this close, anyway. 

DAVE: what no  
DAVE: why the hell did you come here if you didnt wanna see me

Karkat shakes his head, pinching two fingers at his temple. It's such a familiar gesture that it takes Dave's breath away. 

KARKAT: AS SHOCKING OF A REVELATION AS THIS WILL BE, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE, STRIDER. AS I'VE TRIED TO RAM INTO YOUR EXCEEDINGLY THICK SKULL ON DOZENS OF SEPARATE OCCASIONS, THE WORLD DOES NOT ACTUALLY REVOLVE AROUND YOU. DID YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE I WANTED TO SEE JADE! OR PERHAPS I WAS INTERESTED IN CATCHING UP WITH MY GOOD FRIEND JOHN, *SURELY* YOU REMEMBER HIM.  
DAVE: okay well its not like i saw you up there earlier saying hey how do you do to all the guests

Karkat looks away, his fingers moving to fidget with the cording on his uniform. 

KARKAT: I WAS ON THE BALCONY. IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE JUST HOW MUCH I DON'T BELONG HERE.  
KARKAT: BUT CLEARLY YOU WERE TOO BUSY SPRINTING AROUND DESERTED HALLWAYS DURING YOUR OWN WEDDING TO NOTICE. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOWN HERE.

Dave stops. Why the fuck is he even down here? Buried somewhere in the complex web of emotions he's weaved where Karkat is involved, there's a simple truth. 

DAVE: i told you the truth i thought i saw you  
DAVE: but also  
DAVE: i wanted to see you  
DAVE: and anyway you belong here just as much as anyone else  
KARKAT: NO DAVE, I DON'T.  
DAVE: maybe more than anybody else

Karkat's face twists. 

KARKAT: DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT.  
DAVE: why not huh  
DAVE: its my fucking wedding so i get to decide  
DAVE: youre important to me whether you want to be or not  
DAVE: i know you dont fucking care anymore but i still do  
DAVE: i still think about you  
DAVE: i still 

Dave stops. He blinks and tears are burning down his cheeks. Karkat's hands have curled into fists at his sides. 

DAVE: tell me  
DAVE: why are you fucking here karkat why  
KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW.   
DAVE: bullshit  
DAVE: youre a master tactician now i know you dont do things without a reason   
DAVE: i mean you always did make the right choices  
DAVE: even before 

Dave trails off, but then he swallows hard, pushing himself forward.

DAVE: i always trusted you to make good decisions 

Karkat steps forward, teeth bared. 

KARKAT: NEWSFLASH FUCKHEAD, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING OUT THERE AND I NEVER HAVE!  
KARKAT: YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHY I DO THINGS AND YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME I DON'T FUCKING CARE!  
KARKAT: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL.  
KARKAT: AND IF I WASNT SUCH A MONUMENTAL FUCK UP WHO'S PROBABLY MARCHING MY OWN SPECIES INTO THE WARM AND LOVING EBRACE OF EXTINCTION RIGHT NOW, I WOULD JUST TELL YOU MYSELF.

Karkat is breathing hard. His eye looks wild, but Dave feels strangely calm.

DAVE: so tell me 

Karkat deflates. He runs a hand through his hair and opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Dave takes a step forward. They're less than one foot apart now, so close Dave can see the brilliant red of his eye, the hint of fear that's hiding there. 

KARKAT: I MISS YOU.  
DAVE: oh

It’s silent. Without thinking, Dave slowly reaches out a finger and pokes Karkat in the cheek. Slowly, a small smile appears on Karkat's face, so small Dave might be imagining that it's there at all.

DAVE: i miss you too

Dave rips off his shades. Karkat's eye goes wide and it's almost like Dave's thirteen years old again and on the meteor, sweating under the industrial lab lights reflected off hundreds of silvery cans. His mind cycles through the hundreds of times something could have happened between them but didn't, all the times Dave opened his mouth to tell Karkat how he felt but nothing came out. All the times he's looked into those eyes—eye, now—and felt safe. Felt loved, even though the words were never spoken between them. It was there. It's always been there. 

It's Dave who moves first, closing the distance between them in three steps, slamming the doors shut in his mind before they can stop him from doing something he's wanted to do for over twenty years. He brings their lips together with no fear or hesitation, because he knows Karkat will kiss him back. He always has. 

Dave has tried to approximate the feeling of Karkat's lips against his own so many times. Except he could have never imagined the way Karkat melts under him, his lips going soft and pliant, parting to Dave's tongue like all they've been waiting for is an invitation. And just like that Dave's mind goes blank, like a white board wiped clean and stamped one million times over with Karkat's name. 

When they pull apart Dave's face is wet and Karkat's cheeks are stained with red. He looks speechless. They just stare at each other for a few seconds, before Dave throws his arms around Karkat, wrapping him in a hug. 

DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: ive missed you so much 

Dave thinks he might be trembling. Either way Karkat squeezes him back tightly. 

KARKAT: ME TOO. 

They kiss when they pull apart again, Karkat stroking Dave's cheek with his thumb in this steady way that feels like it's going to break him wide open. 

Then they're lingering—foreheads and hands and chests touching, each with a small smile on their face—not ready to step into the next moment that neither of them knows what contains. 

Dave silently takes Karkat's hand, turns and walks forward. The first door in the hall is an empty bedroom, and as soon as they cross the threshold their lips are crashing together again with Dave's back pressed against the closed door, his cheeks cupped in Karkat's calloused fingers. Dave wraps his arms around Karkat's back, gripping tight enough that his nails scratch painfully against the material of the uniform. Dave clings to Karkat like he never wants to let go, kisses him like he'll never get the chance again. 

When Dave breathes him in he finds Karkat smells just like he always did, clean and sweet and something unrecognizably alien that Dave has just come to recognize as Karkat. If this was back then, maybe they'd both have been talking nonstop, trading insults and spewing meaningless bullshit, but they're older now and the air is silent, almost reverent. Karkat rakes a claw gently down Dave's neck and his head falls back immediately, exposing the delicate column of his throat. It takes Karkat's breath away. 

Karkat gets busy kissing every part of Dave he can, trailing down his neck and then back up the other side. His hands play at Dave's collar, wanting all of him but not sure exactly how far he's allowed to go. He gets his answer when Dave starts pushing him backward while unbuttoning his shirt, pushing it roughly to the ground. 

Dave's hands grip Karkat's forearms, skate across his bare chest. He's lean, almost too thin, but there's a wiry muscle that runs through him. It's very unlike back when they only went outside every other month and Dave had watched Karkat's face round out as he sat on the couch day after day eating handfuls of chocolate beetles. Past him had far from complained from that development, however, especially enjoying the fullness of his thighs and ass. 

There's still plenty to enjoy, Dave thinks, as he boldly reaches down and squeezes Karkat's present ass, which is toned but full.

Karkat gasps while unbuttoning Dave's suit jacket and Dave laughs in the middle of pulling down Karkat's pants. The two of them walk in sync, one forward and one backward, until the back of Dave's knees hit the bed. 

Dave kicks the rest of his clothes off and falls onto his back easily. Karkat flushes at the sight of Dave spread out on the bed, his glossy red eyes staring up at him, wide and trusting. Waiting. 

Karkat pushes down the last of his clothes, his face heating further at the way Dave's eyes rake hungrily down his body. 

He distracts himself by focusing on Dave. It's hard to ignore the excitement that's cropped up between Dave's legs, the way he's already hard and wanting; it sends a dark heat rushing through Karkat that yanks him down to fully cover Dave's body and kiss him once again, deep and needy. 

Dave doesn't need to think about it, his fingers are already moving to the places on Karkat he's fantasized about touching for decades—the dips above the place his collarbones would be if he was human, the spaces between his grub scars, the bottom of his face, the nape of his neck. 

Their explorations of each other are different than they might have been in another life. Their fingers are more purposeful, surer in their intentions. Neither of them are strangers to intimacy. They have adult bodies, they've touched and been touched before.

Still, Dave can still see a question in Karkat's eye, the pained expression he's wearing. He puts both hands on Karkat's face. He's sure of this. 

Dave's never been more sure of anything. 

DAVE: karkat  
KARKAT: FUCK, DAVE… I  
KARKAT: I DON'T THINK I CAN CONTROL MYSELF MUCH LONGER.  
DAVE: then dont

Dave puts a hand around Karkat's neck, pulling him down into a kiss. And then he says what he wants. 

DAVE: fuck me  
DAVE: please 

Dave shudders when Karkat moves so that their chests pull flush. Karkat squeezes his eye shut, burying his face in Dave's neck as he nods and his bulge unsheathes, immediately twining itself around Dave's cock and squeezing the breath out of them both. 

DAVE: oh fuck  
KARKAT: DAVE… 

They rock together in a tight embrace, mouths and hips connected, until Karkat is pressing himself inside Dave and they're both panting between quiet moans, Dave's fingers scrabbling at Karkat's sides in an attempt to pull him somehow closer. 

There are thoughts that burn hot and unspoken between them—that this is how it could have been, this is how it should have been. How right it feels. They drink each other in like parched souls in the desert, their thirst seemingly endless.

Dave runs fingers across Karkat's forehead, pushing curls out of the way, trailing lightly down his eyepatch and down his cheek. There's something bubbling up at the tip of Dave's tongue, something he knows they both know, but something that he doesn't want to leave unsaid. Not anymore. 

DAVE: ive always believed in you 

Karkat puts a hand on Dave's chest, right over his heart. It's shaking. 

KARKAT: I KNOW.

When Dave puts out a hand to steady Karkat's, he realizes his is shaking too.

DAVE: ive always loved you

Karkat's tears land on Dave's face, adding to the wetness he didn't realize was already on his own cheeks. Dave closes his eyes, the swell of emotion burning through him. 

KARKAT: I KNOW.  
DAVE: why did we waste so much time

Karkat doesn't answer, he doesn't know how. He brings his hand up to stroke Dave's cheek before leaning in and kissing him softly.

KARKAT: I LOVE YOU, DAVE.  
KARKAT: AND I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.  
DAVE: karkat i love you so much  
DAVE: im sorry  
DAVE: i fucking love you  
DAVE: fuck fuck  
KARKAT: DAVE...

Karkat just buries his face in Dave's neck as his bulge twists inside him, curling and pressing into that spot that makes Dave whimper, a soft sound Karkat's never heard from him before but he commits to memory instantly. His hand finds Dave's cock, and he's stroking it firmly once, twice, before Dave is crying out as he shakes apart in Karkat's arms.

Karkat follows him a few seconds later, spilling inside of Dave with a beautiful sob. 

_I love you. _Dave can't stop himself from looking into Karkat's face and saying the same three words over and over, like he needs to make up for all the times he's stopped himself from saying it out loud. 

They collapse on each other, neither caring about the mess that's formed between their bodies, or the mess that's outside of the door. For a moment nothing else exists but them, the content and safety that comes with being in each other's arms. 

Then the happiness starts to fade as fear and anxiety take its place, creeping into the corners of Dave's mind. Because time has to move forward, and nobody knows that better than him. Dave wonders what Karkat's thinking. If he already regrets what they've done. He wonders if it's the last time.

DAVE: karkat  
DAVE: karkat hey  
KARKAT: YES, DAVE.  
DAVE: not to be the obvious and predictable time guy  
DAVE: but what happens next 

Karkat takes a long, deep breath. 

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW.  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: me neither

Dave's not ready for this, he's not ready to face what comes next. The inevitable consequences of what just went down. He just knows what feels right to him in this moment, and that's being with Karkat, whatever that might mean. 

DAVE: i guess at the very least  
DAVE: i gotta go back out there  
DAVE: seeing as its like  
DAVE: my wedding and all

Karkat's fingers still where they've been stroking along the side of Dave's face.

KARKAT: CAN WE STAY HERE FOR A WHILE?  
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE FREAKSHOW OF A WORLD WE'RE LIVING IN RIGHT NOW, AND SO DO I. JUST…

Karkat wraps an arm tighter around Dave and a fresh wave of emotion rolls through his chest, nearly bringing him to tears again. 

KARKAT: NOT YET.

Not yet. 

Dave can live with that. He can more than live with that. He focuses on keeping his breathing steady, on the warmth of Karkat's chest, the solid feeling of his heart beat beneath Dave's ear. 

The world can wait. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey if you wanna kick it with me and talk about fics, come check out the HS Writer Gang server - <https://discord.gg/tmtGNqe>


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